Whats in a name anyway?

So I was looking at the Urban Dictionary and I decided to enter my name in. Heres what I got.

1.whitney
A girl that you definitely wanna take home to ma and pa... Amazing girl, that you should never let go!
Dang... that whitney girl is a keeeeeeeeper!
sexy bangin beautiful trophy wife stunning

2.
whitney
Another word used for cocaine.
"I got bobby by the pound, whitney by the key"

3.Whitney
1:no skill at checkers,but rocks up tic-tac-toe. 2: A totally wicked awsome lady who's name is whitney.
1: Steve: Wanna play tic-tac-toe? Timothy: Heck no! your a total Whitney... lets play checkers! 2: Harold: Hey look, its Whitney... she's totally wicked awsome!

Yep... Totally me to a "T". I seriously almost peed my pants.

Messy Much?

This is what happens when your baby thinks her rice cereal is much better with a side dish of fingers.

Oh Dont worry,There was a sneeze. And dont worry,Rice cereal was all over me. It was AWE-SOME!!

Meet Zoey

This is Zoey. Our first born. Hairy, I know. Dont be deceived by her cuteness because she has an alter ego named "worst dog ever" . Before Miss P joined out family Zoey was the center of attention. She got more love than a dog should. She was the princess. She came before anything and everything else. Now... Shes been put on the back burner and she doesnt quite like it. Does she still get more love and attention than most dogs? Yes. Yes she does. Does she think so? No. No she doesnt. She has turned into some psychotic dog. Being a house trained dog for several years now has decided that rules are meant to be broken. I let her out to go to the bathroom and she will go out and decide that right by the open door, in the house, on the carpet is a better spot. In fact, She just started to squat right by our bed in front of Zach and I. Uh...Zoey, not more than 3 minutes ago I let you out to go take care of your business. Why are you trying to poop right by my bed? Lately, Zoey has been getting on my nerves real bad. I feel bad for her. I just cant stand her and her bad dog syndrome she has developed. Im about one more poop, one more shredded diaper, one more shredded paper towel away from giving her away. And that makes me sad. Those with dogs, is this a normal feeling after having a baby? Any tricks to turn this dog back into a good one?

A Yo Yo "How To"

I have had a ton of requests for a "How To" for the Yo Yo's. This is no where near a professional tutorial but it will do. I hope.


Materials: Scissors, needle, thread, fabric, different size circles, and a pen. If you want to make a head pieces you will need glue( hot or fabric), a button and stretchy band.



Turn the fabric face down and place desired circle size on it. The bigger the circle the bigger the yo yo and vise versa. My personal opinion is dont do a very small circle because it is REALLY hard to sew. Trace around circle with a pen.

Cut out circle.

Thread needle. Fabric is still face down, Turn in outer edge of fabric and begin hand stitching. The Larger the stitch the smaller the opening will be in your Yo yo.

Once you have gone all the way around your yo yo, pull thread.

Make a few stitches to keep the thread in place.

Cut thread and WA-LA.

Finished Product:

Semi- Homemade

I hate cooking. I will never proclaim myself as a chef of any kind. In fact I hate cooking so much I mooch off my mom almost daily. Thats right, You heard me. I mooch. Im a moocher. Big deal. And the reason for my mooching is Zachs schedule was 10-7 and thats a long time to be home by yourself so I usually head to my parents and play. And by the time Zach is home my mom has already made dinner and I just "Happened" to be there. So yesterday was Labor Day and Zach had the day off from work as most did. It was so nice to have him around. He is so helpful and I just love seeing his handsome face. Anyways, My family had gone up to Heber this weekend for the Holiday and yesterday around 3 I realized I was going to have to make dinner. If I make dinner they are meals that are semi-homecooked and take 30 minutes or less to cook. Thats just how I roll. Even though I hate cooking I do like to watch the cooking channel. Weird huh? I was watching Miss Paula Deen one day and she made this Shrimp and Scallop lasagna. It look fantastic! So thinking I was just as good as Paula I hopped on the internet to find the recipe.

***Note to Self: Paula is a professional chef, has her own Show and restaurant. You will never be Paula. Never.***

It said it was a Moderate recipe to follow and for some reason... I thought I could pull it off. If only I had 50 hands. I get so flustered. I burned the onions, added too much flour, poured in way too much half and half, dropped some of the noodles in the sink as I was draining them and made a huge mess. The only thing I think I did right was preheat the oven and all that was was push a stinking button. All in all it smelled great, looked great but tasted... bland. While it was baking in the oven I went down stairs threw myself on the bed and told Zach " everytime I make dinner I am reminded why I hate cooking." He just laughed.

I give up. Im sticking to my semi- homemade 30 minute or less meals.

Even though I am no cook. I do love me some food. Any kind is fine with me. Ive never been a picky eater. Well, if you dont count taking my peanut butter and jelly sandwich apart as a toddler and would only allow the peanut butter to be on one side and the jelly on the other. There could be no mixing and then only eating the jelly side. BUT, I dont do that anymore. And actually I almost prefer the peanut butter side these days.

And P.s- Cooking and baking are completely different. I can bake with the best of them. Just dont rely on me to make you dinner.

Oo La La

The Pied Piper is having another contest...

Nighttime adventures of Zachy Poo Take 2

Zach is already asleep. He has an early doctors appointment tomorrow. Don't worry he just carried on a full conversation with himself. Its been kinda quiet over here at Vance house. No sudden punches to the face lately, at which I am grateful for.

Zach and I are different sizes. Like I said his 6'4" to my 5'2" is why our baby is in the 90% in height( you like how I throw that in there? You didnt forget did you?that my baby is tall? Cause she is) .Anways... we were so fortunate to receive a Cal King Bed when we got married. Zach worked for a mattress company called My Comfort/ intellibed. So that was our wedding present. Which was AWESOME! Because beds are expensive and this brand is REEEEAALLLY expensive. And we got it for free. I love free things. I remember my mother in law telling me when my in laws were first married they shared a double size bed, I think. You see, Dad Vance is 6'5" and mom Vance is probably 5'6"-5'8". I could remember thinking a DOUBLE SIZED BED! Say what!? Im glad we never had to rough it like that. Even with a Cal King Zach still thinks its cool to sleep diagonal. Why? I will never know. Does this make me happy? Nope. Where do my feet go? Scrunched up. And for some reason my pillow will Always be better than Zachs. Is it in real life? No. He requires expensive latex pillows for his sweet noggin. I require a $10 pillow from Target. Not a night goes by that Zach is not sharing my pillow with me. And at 2:00 in the morning... I want to rip his head off. I push him back to his side. I dont cuddle. When I am sleeping dont touch me. Okay? okay. Because if you do... I wake up and then I am cranky. And there are only 3 things that make me REALLY cranky... 1. sleep deprivation, 2. hungry, 3. Hot. Okay there may be more. But thats besides the point.

P.s- he's talking again. He's wacko.